MY KIND OF PRIMATE: DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOU!

Getting a cab in manhattan can be a harrowing experience, especially in the rain.
On one such rainy night, I once blurted "DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOU!"
at a young Asian couple who tried to snag my cab. I didn't really have a box-cutter,
but they didn't know that.
I'm imagining that somebody must have tried to steal this gorilla's cab...
At the Calgary Zoo:

"Onlookers at the Calgary Zoo were shocked Tuesday when a western lowland gorilla picked up a knife and pointed it at a troop mate, then placed it on a chair for the keepers to remove.

None of the gorillas was hurt in the incident, but it startled the 20 or so visitors--including children--who watched the scene unfold around 10:40 a. m. at the outdoor exhibit.

"He grabbed the knife exactly in the correct position and he smelled it and looked at it," said Calgarian Joe Scheffler, who was at the zoo with his wife, Heike. "A few seconds later, another gorilla came and he was very interested.

"He tried to get the knife, but the gorilla with the knife lifted the knife for his buddy . . . it seems to me that the gorilla with the knife was a little bit angry and he lifted his hand with the knife.

"It was just (like) a scene from a crime," added Scheffler, whose wife snapped photos of the incident.

Visitors were visibly shaken by the scene and wondered aloud where the gorilla would get a knife."

YES. I'D LOVE TO KNOW. WHERE DID THIS ANIMAL GET A KNIFE FROM?!?!?!?!?!?!?
ftw.