Saturday, April 10, 2010
It's 5pm and I just woke up. Sleeping pills. They do body good.
In any event, I'm completely out of it... so chances are good that I'm only hallucinating
that I'm typing this blog.
If I'm not
Saturday is FTW! Product day.
Here are some things I want:
Seeing as how I will probably never
be able to afford the MAGNETIC BED...
I am saving up for the MAGNETIC LOUNGE CHAIR!
"The sensation you feel as you lie back and close your eyes is totally different -- like floating on a cloud," said a Stuff Live spokesman. Its 6,000 pound ($9,620) price tag may bring visitors back down to earth with a bump, however."
For no reason pertaining to science,
I would like to have a genetically engineered GLOW IN THE DARK PUSSY.
IF THE ASTRONAUTS CAN HAVE THIS THEN SO MUST I!
"VIRTUAL DEPRESSION THERAPY FOR ASTRONAUTS"!!!!!!
HUMAN HEAD KNIFE BLOCK.
Just because I want it.
Twenty bucks well spent!
HUMAN SKIN WARDROBE!!!
(For my sake, play along and pretend you think it
is made of real person.)
I WANT IT ALL!
I ALSO WANT A CHAINSAW!
AND A HOUSE IN TEXAS!
(I take that back. Not Texas. The fucking DEVIL lives in Texas.)
THERE'S EVEN A HUMAN BABY HEAD SKIN PURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Nico Knows at 2:18 PM
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Posted by Nico Knows at 11:02 AM
I CRIED. I CRIED WHATEVER TEARS I HAD IN THESE ZOMBIE EYES OF MINE.
The worst news of all has been floating about in these Interwebz...
and seeing as how I exist in the wires... zapped I got... and woe is me...
CAN IT BE? IS SHE GONE? IS SHE HE?
Reportedly and sadly... not only is Shaye gone... but she is also, as I had long suspected...
the late Eric Fournier... who has apparently expired.
This is one lid I am not thrilled to be blowing off... as I sit down to a bowl of Stumpwater Salad with the now
I will do the Hand Thing for the rest of my days.
I miss you, Shaye... and I will see you still in every nightmare I have.
YOUR FRIEND AND MINE, SHAYE ST JOHN.
rest in peace... pieces... whatever.
I'm sure you and KiKi are doing that Drip Drop Diet in the sky.
Gone... NEVER EVER will be forgotten.
Needless to say, Giuseppe Andrews has always been a delight to mein eyes.
However, it was only recently that his transformation from bubble gum boy to
Grit and Great man was brought to my attention.
Move over, Vincent Gallo... There's a new you in town and he didn't even have to sell himself on the interwebz to
steal that title!
Currently, Andrews is spreading the awesome through the equally tremendous Troma vehicle...
(DO make sure you buy a copy of "Trailer Town" from the Troma site
Behold... The incredible Giuseppe Andrews!
If only you all could see the hearts and glitter spraying out of my eye orbs...
Posted by Nico Knows at 10:31 AM
IT'S A STRAWBERRY THAT TASTES LIKE A PINEAPPLE... AND IT'S REAL.
Brought to you by the same people who bring you Strasberries!
Pineberries made their UK debut yesterday at WaitRose.
I cannot wait to carbonate them!
Posted by Nico Knows at 10:19 AM