Monday, June 15, 2009

I WAS TORTURED AS A CHILD... apparently I wasn't the only one.

For as long as I can remember, my mother has worn some SERIOUS eyeliner.
It's something like the smokey eye smudge, on 11... It takes upwards of 20 go-rounds of the eye crayon to achieve the full on raccoon eye.
When I was 3, I was on the dressing table and my mother came into the dark room after having splashed water on her face.
I just remember seeing a zombie in the darkened distance with bleeding eyes... eyes that bled black.
I basically tried to claw my way up the wall in hysterics.
I think my mom called my dad in to come take a picture of my fear.
You all can probably see where I get me sense of humour from.
When I was 4-
My parents made me watch The Excorcist with them.
It was a saturday night.
The night ended with me hyperventilating and my parents each covering one of my eyes...
but still they finished watching the film.
I'm not sure if they knew this, but I could still HEAR everything.
Later that year, we were in Italy and my father was getting tired of the fact that I simply
refused to get out of my stroller.
I was already a child and no longer a baby...
so my dad strapped me into the stroller, wheeled me into an ancient, dark courtyard and closed the stone door... leaving it open just a crack through which he groaned "MUUUUAAAAAAH! I'M THE HAIRY MONSTER! I'M COMING TO EAT YOU! MUAHH!"
I crawled toward that door with a stroller strapped to my ass... HOWLING IN TERROR.
It did get me out of the stroller and it also caused me to develop a lifelong phobia of feeling "trapped" in any way...
this includes even having my hand held too tightly.

Joshua Hoffine must have had a childhood like my own.
Here are some of his photos:

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