SPRAY YOUR BUTT.
SPRAY YOUR PRIVATES.
WAIT WHAT?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
26 thousand dollars? I'll break your legs FOR FREE!: Cosmetic Leg lengthening!
wow.
it's like a satire... but it's real.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
AND I THOUGHT THE PUERTO RICAN DAY PARADE WAS SCARY!: EL SALVADOR SOCCER FANS PLAY GRABASS IN A RAPE-LIKE FASHION.
HOLY FTW.
THAT WOMAN NEEDS TO SHOOT THESE MEN IN THE PENISES.
ALL OF THEM.
oh my jesus.
wow.
Honestly, he's much more entertaining, attractive and talented than Mariah Carey... probably a better dancer and dresser, too.
You've seen him here before...
now you can view his entire collection!
http://www.youtube.com/user/martellpedro44
Pedro Martell.
GREATEST THING I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE: Toddler becomes a prize in a claw-grab toy machine.
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=688800
"A curious toddler has become the talk of the town after climbing through the prize chute of a toy gaming machine in the Northern Territory and becoming trapped inside.
Six firefighters rushed to the Oasis Shopping Village in Palmerston, east of Darwin, on Saturday after receiving an emergency call about a toddler stuck inside the machine, the NT News reports.
The unnamed boy is believed to be just two years old.
"I said this kid must be a genius," said Lisa Chong, who owns a shop in the Oasis Shopping Village in the Northern Territory suburb of Palmerston.
"He must have been standing (there) thinking 'how am I going to get at those toys?'
"We are looking through the box and it's not that easy."
Ms Chong said a crowd gathered around the trapped child.
"Everybody had to decide how to get the kid out," she told ABC radio in Darwin.
"The parents must have gone shopping or something ... they must have been really surprised though, stunned, (thinking) how did my son get in there."
Firefighters were forced to use the jaws of life and a hacksaw to remove the padlock on the machine before prying off the glass door.
"When we got the call we actually just assumed he'd got an arm or head stuck, so we were a little shocked when we arrived to find him inside," firefighter Brendon Magnoli was quoted as saying.
"He got in where the toys come out at the bottom ... he must have been a bit of a contortionist to get in there," he said.
"We took the padlock off and pried the door open and he came out pretty quick ... "He was a little bit scared but he put on a brave face."
Police and St Johns Ambulance were also on the scene but the boy didn't require medical treatment.
His adventure didn't go unrewarded — he was given a soft toy for his efforts.
A female shopper also gave him a lollipop."
I'm totally dropping the 50 cents in one of those things the next time a kid gets caught in one.
If I lose (which is almost inevitable)-
worst case scenario... I lose 2 quarters.
BEST CASE:
I take home a toddler whom I can train to cobble my shoes.
He's crapping tomorrow's food before he even eats is... hilarious.
It's a colostomy bag... from the future.
Full of poop. FUTURE POOP.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
OH. MY. GOD. ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN BODY SNATCHED.
I knew it.
I knew it months ago, when out of the clear blue... all of my former smoking, drinking, drugging
friends suddenly became yoga fanatics.
It never sat right with me...
the people who had only weeks before been calling me and
yammering on about 9 day cocaine binges were now all smiles n' sunshine, going on Yoga re-treats in
honolulu.
"It's just not natural", I thought... and apparently,
I WAS RIGHT!
LOOK!
http://cbs2chicago.com/investigations/dahn.yoga.cult.2.1049155.html
"Lawsuit Claims Dahn Yoga Is A Cult And A Con
You sign up for a yoga class and then find yourself trapped in a cult. That's what 24 people say happened to them. They are now suing Dahn Yoga. This nationwide group makes millions and has 12 centers in the Chicago area that often target college students. As CBS 2 Investigator Pam Zekman reports ex-members are charging that Dahn Yoga is a cult and a con.
"I think that Dahn Yoga is an extremely deceptive and very dangerous cult," said former Dahn Yoga member Amy Shipley.
Amy Shipley was first exposed to Dahn Yoga's so-called Body and Brain Club at the University of Illinois, Chicago campus. She enjoyed the blend of yoga, exercise and dancing offered to all Dahn Yoga students.
"I felt so good, after that I was hooked," Shipley said.
And hooked on Ilchi Lee, the leader of the Dahn organization and his espoused humanitarian vision of world peace.
"The main thrust of Dahn Yoga's work is healing the world through individual healing," said Dahn Yoga spokesperson Joseph Alexander.
But in a lawsuit, Shipley and 23 other former members charge they were victims of "psychological manipulation" and "thought reform techniques" that included sleep deprivation and excessive exercise.
For example, Shipley had to perform 3,000 bows over a period of nine hours and she attended bizarre workshops.
"Everyone around me was screaming really loudly, people were slamming the floor with their fists, people were bawling, someone that I know even collapsed," Shipley said.
Shipley took Dahn's martial arts training, became a Dahn master and appeared happy.
"I was a brainwashed, very confused young woman," Shipley said.
And it all required "money training" which meant giving the group money.
"I took out student loans, I used all of the money I had in the bank, I took out three credit cards," Shipley said. "I spent over $47,000."
Attorney Ryan Kent filed the lawsuit charging the Dahn organization with fraud.
"They pay for the privilege of being brainwashed," Kent said. "They're lying to these kids, they're concealing from them the true nature of the organization."
In reality, the suit charges that money collected from students at Dahn centers supports Lee's extravagant lifestyle.
"He's making $1 million net a month from his U.S. operations," Kent said.
Ex-members say they were pressured to sign up new members and open new centers to help Lee achieve his goal of recruiting 100 million followers.
"I was expected to recruit 20 people every month and make the organization about $20,000 to $30,000 every month," Shipley said.
Jessica Harrelson says she was singled out for much more. The lawsuit charges that Lee sexually assaulted her.
"After I had very vocally stated that this was not OK with me, people were trying to tell me, 'he is enlightened' and then it turned into 'well, this is an honor,'" Harrelson said. "It was so difficult for me to get across that this was a reprehensible act."
"Like all the other claims in the lawsuit, this is a false claim," Dahn spokesperson Alexander said. "This is completely a lie. No one was forced to do anything."
Alexander describes the lawsuit as a frivolous action by a small group of disgruntled former employees. He also says that millions have benefited from Dahn Yoga as can be seen in testimonials on their website. "
SAVE THE PLANET, WEAR DOG HAIR.
This is for all you eco-maniacs...
Tired of dog/cat hair covering your place and serving no apparent purpose? Well, PUT THAT STUFF TO USE!
http://www.petyarnchic.com/
http://ifitshipitshere.blogspot.com/2008/10/wearing-hair-of-dog-portraits-of-people.html
These people will knit you a sweater made from your pet's dropped hairs... and then take a snapshot of you and your donor.
Dude, the jews in Israel are INSANE.
Um...
these are the Haredim.
They are the Hasidim in Israel, the "Ultra-Orthodox".
I'd heard that they were like Israel's version of the Bloods and the Crips...
violent, angry, insane.
Seems like the rumours are true.
FTW.
I don't know what's worse...
a) The fact that these kids are like 15 and pregnant.
b) The fact that these kids are like 15 and pregnant and smoking.
c) The fact that these kids are like 15 and pregnant and smoking and looking like they work at Hot Topic.
d) THE FACT THAT THESE KIDS ARE ALLOWED TO BREED.
BABIES: HANG 'EM OUT THE WINDOW!
Michael Jackson was onto something... something much older than a mere baby Blanket.
Here's a real product from the 1920's
Boggins Window Cribs:
"This outdoor crib is admirable adapted for city apartments. It is thirty-six inches long, twenty-four inches wide, and twenty-seven inches high. The illustration shows how comfortable the baby can be in this crib, and how he can be kept in view of his mother or nurse."
CAMEL'S MILK CHOCOLATES.
DO NOT WANT.
" Dubai's Al Nassma, the world's first brand of chocolate made with camels' milk, plans to expand into new Arab markets, Europe, Japan and the United States, its general manager said Tuesday. "We aim to be the Godiva of the Middle East," Van Almsick said in an interview. "It's a luxury product, so we will never be in supermarkets. The plan is to be in one mall in each UAE city.""
Thursday, July 23, 2009
2 words: NEW TRON.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090723/ap_on_en_mo/us_comic_con_tron
OH MY LORD.
IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING. HOORAY!
... and in 3D NO LESS!
"Jeff Bridges promises the new "TRON" is just as groundbreaking as the 27-year-old original.
The 59-year-old actor and star of the original film came to Comic Con Thursday to help present early footage from "TRON: Legacy," due in 2010.
Bridges notes that when "TRON" was released in 1982, the Internet and personal computers didn't exist. The futuristic tale took viewers to a digitized virtual world, a concept that was decades ahead of its time.
Despite modern moviegoers' everyday interaction with technology, Bridges says he "can guarantee you're going to get the same kind of pop with this one. Everything's going to be super-ized."
Filmmakers showed some concept sketches and a brief, never-before-seen clip."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
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Oh Gooooooooood. For Him.
It's a good day for the creepy ginger kid from Harry Potter.
He finally met someone creepier than he.
I love how he pretends to understand what the heck she's whimpering about.
I mean OBVIOUSLY it's his eyelashes (which have a scent, apparently)... and the dust on his shirt.
and then that Potter comes out...
thankfully with his clothes ON.
THE GLACIERS ARE MELTING FAST! DRINK 'EM WHILE YOU STILL CAN!
Japanese blue beer... made from melting glacier juice and seaweed.
Delicious!
COP EATS POT BROWNIES: The Musical.
Of all the things I've seen done with that ill fated 911 call,
this one has long since been my fave.
I think we found the East Side Rapist...
An unfortunate coincidence...
(CLICK ON IMAGE TO EXPAND TO FULL SIZE)
(CLICK ON IMAGE TO EXPAND TO FULL SIZE)
Still one of the funniest things I've ever heard: Cop eats pot brownies... calls 911... makes anchorwoman snortle.
A story so ridiculous
that it causes the anchorwoman
to snortle like a hog.
HE THINKS THEY'RE DEAD.
HE REALLY DOES.
his wife is on the living room ground.
she's barely breathing.
time is going by really rilly rilly rilly slow.
ALSO,
HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT THE SCORE ON THE REDWINGS GAME IS.
CHICAGO BULLS... OR CHICAGO ROBOT PRIEST SATAN BULLS?
http://rationreality.com/2007/09/25/the-chicago-bulls-logo-robot-alien-menace/
Says the source:
"When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest…"
I think he's onto something, here...
Holy Highway!
"A highway shall be there, and a road, and it shall be called the Highway of Holiness."
Some believe that they have found this holy highway in Interstate 35 that runs from Texas through Minnesota.
Those people are "prayer driving" their way to stopping internet pornography.
LIght The Highway:
The I-35 initiative.
http://www.lightthehighway.org/en/index.php/I-35
"Some of the faithful believe that in order to fulfill the prophecy of I-35 being the "holy" highway, it needs some intensive prayer first. So we watched as about 25 fervent and enthusiastic Christians prayed on the the interstate's shoulder in Dallas.
They chanted loudly and vibrantly, making many people in the neighborhood wonder what was going on. They prayed that adult businesses along the corridor would "see the light" and perhaps close down.
They prayed for safety and freedom from crime for people who lived along the interstate. They prayed that all Americans would accept Jesus into their lives."
I think J.J Abrahams might be behind this...
I'm looking out for the numbers.
"LIGHT THE HIGHWAY CAN CURE HOMOSEXUALITY!
IT'S TRUE!"
Monday, July 20, 2009
FASHIONISTAS, LISTEN UP! DEAD CRITTERS IN YO HAIR!
Reid Peppard
has designed this line of taxidermied creature accessories!
Amongst the greats are the Guinea Pig Hair Comb and BeDazzled Rat Headband... or perhaps you're more of a Large Rat Purse kind o' trendsetter...
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