A story so ridiculous
that it causes the anchorwoman
to snortle like a hog.
HE THINKS THEY'RE DEAD.
HE REALLY DOES.
his wife is on the living room ground.
she's barely breathing.
time is going by really rilly rilly rilly slow.
ALSO,
HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT THE SCORE ON THE REDWINGS GAME IS.
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WHAT YOU TALKIN' BOUT, WILLIS?