FTW?! THAT FUCKING SHIRT SOLD ITSELF. IT'S A FUCKING WOLF SHIRT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Before I proceed to tell you this, let me just say that I've been looking for a wolf shirt for
Jimmy for at least 2 years, now. I have scoured every carnival, fairground and Shaman Show,
but to no avail... usually either the wolves were sleeping, or the shirt itself was too crinkly and cheap.
I appreciate this whole to-do regarding this OBVIOUSLY 'Magical Wolf Shirt',
but let me stress... I happen to think it's all BOLLOCKS, because in MY humble opinion... that damned shirt sells
ITSELF.
I MEAN, IT'S GOT 3 FUCKING WOLVES... AND THEY'RE ALL HOWLING!!!!!
Dammit. It's PERFECT.
http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/dp/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
HOWEVER- It took a "joke review" on amazon to convince the REST of the world of it's inherent awesome.
Sales on this "Three Wolf Moon" shirt shot up over 2,000% once the "reviews" started getting noticed.
Some of the reviews:

By B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark".

and

5.0 out of 5 stars Great compliment for my skin art, May 19, 2009
By overlook1977 (Raleigh, NC United States) - See all my reviews
"Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather."

Silly rabbits. If they needed ANY prodding, they didn't deserve the shirt in the first place.

WELL, FUCK. IT SEEMS YOU SHITHEADS ARE ALL ABOUT THE BACON, SO HERE'S SOMETHING FOR YOU TO MASTURBATE TO, YOU PIG FUCKERS.

JESUS. Whenever I post anything pertaining to BACON...
You people get fucking rabid.
It's like the red cape to you human bulls.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO here's some bacon porn for you fucking weirdos.
Seems like the Pig Cold has made everyone patent any bacon invention they've ever had:
BACON FLAVOURED TOOTHPICKS:

BACON BRA:

CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON:

BACON DONUT:

BAKON VODKA:

BACON MINTZ:

CHURCH OF FUCKING BACON:

BABY DADDY DRAMA DOUBLED!

HOLY SHIT.

This is either epic FAIL or epic WIN, depending on how you look at it. For the whore and her bangers, epic fail.
For ME, YOU AND SCIENCE... epic WIN!!!

A slutty whore with a loose pussy gave birth to twins. Not THAT exciting... BUT WAIT:

THESE TWINS EACH HAVE A DIFFERENT BABY DADDY! Yes, you heard me right. Mia Washington aka The Whore Next Door (to somebody, most likely) cheated on her main squeeze, James Harrisson and reportedly, her indiscretion led to a one-in-a-million conception: STEP-BASTARD TWINS!
"Whore next Door" Mia became suspicious of the duo when she realized that they looked sort of like genetic strangers.
So she scooped them up and had their dna's tested at Clear Diagnostics DNA Lab.
HO AND BE-HO-LD:
THERE WAS ONLY A 0.001 THAT THESE 2 DIPSHIT ANOMALY BABIES HAD THE SAME DADDY!
The Daily Mail reports:

“I have twins who have different dads,” the mom told the newspaper. “Out of all the people in America and all the people in the world, this had to happen to me.”
“It’s very crazy, most people don’t believe it can happen but it really can,” Genny Thibodeaux, from the Clear Diagnostics DNA Lab, told the Mail.
In order for it to happen, “The infidelity would have had to occur within a 24 to 48 hour period,” says Dr. Joseph Finkelstein, a Manhattan obstetrician and gynecologist. “Once the egg is released and gets fertilized, the system shuts down, so although it technically could happen, it would have to happen in two days or less.”
The likelihood of having twins without any medical intervention such as the use of fertility drugs is about 1 in 100, Finkelstein says. In the case of the Texas twins, there was never any health threat to the babies during the pregnancy because they were fathered by different men.
“It’s not a baby issue since they had different placentas,” Finkelstein explains. “The two babies are totally separate entities. Babies can have different blood types even if they have the same father.”

WHORES. NOW IN MASS PRODUCING MODEL.

OH MY GOD. WHY IS THIS SHIT NOT MINE? LIKE... LITERALLY. MY SHIT NEEDS TO TWITTER.LINK

http://twitter.com/hacklabTOilet
Holy shit. You'd think a laxative abusing net junkie like myself would have been the INVENTOR of this hacked up
TWATTERING TOILET, but alas, I have failed.
In any event-
SOMEBODY succeeded at this! WHORE-AY! The "hacklabtoilet" TWATTERS EVERY TIME IT'S FLUSHED!!!! YES! THAT'S RIGHT!
EVERY TIME IT SWALLOWS A DOOKIE OR INHALES SOME SOFT SOUP, THIS SHIT BOWL CONTACTS TWATTER AND DROPS A WORD TURD!!!!!
Incredible. I need my stomach to do this every time I vomit!!
I SHALL BE THE FIRST!!!!!
Anyhoo, my only complaint is COME ON DOUCHEBUCKETS. What's with the granny bowl? At least buy that shit a PLUSH PINK SEAT COVER if you're gonna make it fucking famous. Putting that sad, white bowl out for the entire world to see would be like sending Farrah out right now into the flash bulb frenzy without a wig!!!!!!!

BLOGGERSBLOGGING ABOUT BLOGGERSBLOGGING!http://ladybunny.net/blog

http://ladybunny.net/blog/2009/05/noteworthy-new-blog.html

I've always loved Lady Bunny. I've always loved Reavis Eitel. So here we all are, plugging and blogging and farting and all that good shit that comes along with just having awesome oozing out the pores.
WHORE-AY! DAY ONE ON THE CIRCUIT AND SHIT'S OFF THE WIRE!
http://ladybunny.net/blog/2009/05/noteworthy-new-blog.html

I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED I CANNOT STOP DOING THAT HAND THING!!!!!

WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME 100G'S SO I CAN BUY A JETPACK?

Ok.


It's no secret that more than most things... I'd like to have a jet-pack.

Why? Well duh, why the fuck not.
It's a fucking JET PACK.


The problems:

a) Even if I had 100k to spend on a jet-pack... I doubt I could justify it... I mean, I don't even have a CAR at the moment
(I introduced it to a utility pole which was literally 10 feet from my home)

b) The "Martin Jetpack" looks more like a drum kit than a fucking jet-pack.

Nonetheless, shit will be arriving at a jet-pack dealership near you by next year (so they tell me)

So if anybody wants to buy this for me, I won't refuse the gifty.

KEEP YOUR PEEPERS OPEN FOR: Bobby Hacker, motherfuckers.

Mark my words, Bobby Hacker will be the nigga to kick Rob Zombie off his throne.
Realistically, I could watch these videos once a day for the rest of my life and never tire of them.
They're like morning coffee and should probably be a part of your regular routines.

CARS!



CARS 2!


BLENDERZ CRUCIAL SPORTS HUT!!!

THE TIME HAS COME.

Some of you know me. Some of you do not.

Some of you like me. Some of you do not.

Some of you will learn to love me... probably most of you will not.

Whatever the outcome,

It was only the natural progression of things.

A 'blog' had to come to be... so here I am.

If you find retarded shit and political incorrectness 'offensive',

you're in the wrong place.

That said-

Let the fucking up of shit commence.