Christopher Hitchens is an A**hole.

Meh. This guy is such a douchebag.
My response: I'm funny. It usually helps me NOT get laid... which is precisely what I'm hoping for. I don't "try". Never have. I'm also not unattractive. Never have been. I'm straight and as un-Jewy as they come.
I guess I'm one of those exceptions.
I don't know, I don't like this guy. Sorry. The truth is, anything can be analyzed away into nothingness. This fact is part of what keeps me swimming in an over-thought pool of misery... and he's not a genius for breaking everything down into something ugly... he's just an asshole for it.

THE LUCKIEST LITTLE GIRL IN THE WORLD...

And adorable, to boot.

HATERS IS JEALOUS!

Hell hath no fury like A pussy scorned...

BARBARA STREISAND, BY GOLLY, THE RETARDED ARE OFFENDED!

WOW.

This is REALLY not PC...
LOVE IT.

(Thank you REAVIS EITEL!!!)

OH MY GOD. ONE OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS I HAVE SEEN CAUGHT ON VIDEO.

HE HAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL NOW, WALLACE.

Um. This cannot just be alcohol. This guy is clearly fighting with invisible goblins.

OH MY GOD. THIS HAPPENED

THE MUPPETS TAUGHT ME HOW TO CURSE!

HEIL, SPITLER!

You Namipulate Nanamanipulate my heart...

Um...

I hope Kelsey is in hiding.

I HATE MY PENIS.

I don't even know what to say... other than to let you all know that this guy is not kidding.
He is being serious.

Everyone says I look like a Black Boy!

FTW LOL!!???

SING IT, DUMMY!

The Picard Song... UH-MAY-ZING.

I don't want to offend you, but...

Chances are I will anyway.

HEY! EVERYBODY GOTTA WEAR CLOTHES! MR.T FASHION SHOW!

I guess monday morning is for being nauseous.

MR ROB PETERS.

"MR ROGERS OF DOMINATRIX"

OH MY JESUS.

http://www.youtube.com/user/MrRobpeters

DOG RAPE.

I want to not find this as hilarious as I find it... only because I know I should probably just be disturbed.

PICKLE SURPRISE!

ONCE AGAIN, MY FAVE HITLER CLIP MAKES LOLS!

THAT WAS FAST!!!!

Balloon Boy and Adolf.

This baby knows how to get down. Low.

I'm probably jut very white.
I have no idea what Stanky Legs are.
This baby, however, knows all too well.

I'm sort of disturbed by the guy who shows up at the halfway point, though.

IN BAD TASTE. DEAD BABIES. REALLY. (*WARNING. GRAPHIC. MORE THAN USUAL.)

Holy macaroni... the world's gone creepy.

Apparently, there had been some sort of facebook dispute about whether or not dead baby jokes are HILARIOUS.
I, for one, am an advocate of such joke telling as most of us who tell such jokes aren't the types who would actually shove a baby in a blender feet first, just to watch the expression on its face...
(only to scoop it out with tortilla chips.)

THAT SAID-
They who were "offended" by said "Dead baby" jokes were a gang who had come from a site for
*gasp* memorializing aborted, stillborn and miscarried babies... COMPLETE WITH PHOTOGRAPHS OF SAID DECEASED
CRITTERS... IN THEIR SUNDAY BEST.

I'm gagging as I write this, as some things are too gross even for ME.

There is a "send gifts" option... where you can send baby clothes to a deceased fetus.(?)

Also, the dead babies "respond" to comments... from the beyond.
MEMORIALS WITH PHOTOS FOR THE STILLBORNS
http://www.gonetoosoon.org/find_memorial/cause__still-birth/1/

MEMORIALS WITH PHOTOS FOR MISCARRIAGES
http://www.gonetoosoon.org/find_memorial/cause__miscarriage/2/


I am just... Yeah. Just... Yeah. Yikes. FTW?!

Let me get this straight, dead baby jokes about completely fictional dead babies are not ok, but posting pictures of REAL half-cooked dead babies all dressed up like living babies is supposed to be in good taste?

Hello, UNIVERSE?!?!?!
ARE YOU CATCHING THIS???

ELTON JON BENET RAMSEY

A few years back, I was JonBenet for halloween...
I wish I had been so clever as to have my betrothed come as Elton Jon...

Here are some halloween costume ideas!

Ralph Lauren hires blind people to do his photoshopping and Fillippa, you ARE too large to be a Ralph Lauren model. SO what?

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

SO THIS IS THE INFAMOUS RALPH LAUREN AD THAT WAS PHOTOSHOPPED?
Apparently I missed this whole debacle, but this chick does not look emaciated... she just looks wrong.
Like anatomically odd.
Her legs look normal sized, her arms, her head, her torso... they all look normal sized...
THEY JUST ALL LOOK LIKE THEY ARE NORMAL SIZED PARTS OF 4 DIFFERENT NORMAL SIZED PEOPLE. LOL.
The person who PHOTOSHOPPED it should be fired... that's the only casualty there should be and not because it's "offensive" lol, but only because it's a piss poor photoshop job.

FTW?!?!?! Hilarious!
It's like one of those "face in hole" pics.
Why do people think it makes her look emaciated? It does no such thing.

It does, however, make Ralph Lauren look like he is letting an 8 year old chinese sweat shop worker do the photoshopping.

Oh and BOO HOO to the model who is BOO HOOING that she got fired by Ralph for being "too fat"
HONEY, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE INDUSTRY.
No offense, I'm sure you're a lovely girl... but you ARE too large for high fashion.

With those heavy knockers, however, you might have a bright future in porn.

LEAVE RALPH LAUREN ALONE!

FRIED COKE. YES. COKE.

"Fried Coke is frozen Coca-Cola-flavored batter which is deep-fried and then topped with Coca-Cola syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon sugar, and a cherry. It was introduced by inventor Abel Gonzales, Jr., at the 2006 State Fair of Texas, where it won the title of "Most Creative" in the second annual judged competition among food vendors.[1][2] It proved very popular in Texas, selling 10,000 cups in the first two weeks. In 2009, Fried Coke was featured on the Travel Channel's Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. Fried Coke is estimated to have 830 calories (3,500 kJ) per cup.[3]"

NEW CARNIVAL FARE: DEEP FRIED BUTTER... AND SO MUCH MORE.

It's no secret that I love carnivals.
It's also no secret that I love delicious things.

BEHOLD...
THE TRENDS IN CARNIVAL FARE FOR 2010:

DEEP FRIED BUTTER:
"100 percent pure butter is whipped 'til light and fluffy, then specially sweetened with a choice of several flavors." It is then surrounded by a "special dough" and quick-fried."


Twisted Yam on a Stick
"a delicious, towering, spiral-cut sweet potato on a 13-inch skewer." After being plunked in the fryer, it is then "gently rolled in butter" and dusted with sugar and cinnamon.


Fernie's Deep Fried Peaches & Cream
"a delicious batter of cinnamon, ginger, coconut, graham cracker crumbs, eggs and milk." It is then (natch) deep-fried and served on a plate, drizzled with raspberry sauce, sprinkled with streusel and topped with whipped cream. Wait — there is vanilla buttercream icing provided on the side.


Country Fried Pork Chips
"seasoned, thin-sliced pork loin "surrounded by a tasty corn meal batter and deep-fried." "

Sweet Jalapeno Corn Dog Shrimp
"Shrimp on a stick is coated with a sweet and spicy corn meal batter, then deep-fried to a golden brown and served with a spicy glaze."

CHICKEN FRIED BACON
Think chicken fried steak... BUT BACON.

THIRD TIME'S A CHARM: How many people get mentioned 3 TIMES in this blog?

This is the 3rd time I've been compelled to share this man's genius.

NEW!!!!!

CRAZY TRAIN!

BOUNCING BABIES KRAUTS AND TECHNO. AWESOME.

AND YOU RUB AND YOU RUB AND YOU RUB LITTLE PONY

This song is awesome.
This video is awesome.
Miranda knows what's up.

LITTLE PONY.

UP-SKIRT APP: Watch cute Asian chicks show their underpants and giggle!

REFRIGERATOR ANGST.

This was on The Chive...
and it's awesome.
http://thechive.com/2009/10/25-passive-aggressive-workplace-kitchen-notes/

Passive Aggressive workplace fridge notes:

How to wake up your girlfriend (One of the funniest things you've seen.)

I'm a fan of consistency and routine. Unfortunately,
those things are not often granted by life.
However-
In a sea of sh*t and change, one thing I seem to always be able to count on lately
is my homegirl, Mia, bringing me some seriously awesome and hearty LOLZ.


Behold! How to wake your girlfriend:

I love the slowed replay of her reaction.

The Japaneses are sadistic.

Note the little animations as this kitty smashes himself into a window.

Um, this dude is 74 YEARS OLD.

OH MY JESUS.
JUST FURTHER PROOF THAT THE JAPANESES ARE IN CAHOOTS WITH THE DEVIL (my homeboy)-
THIS DUDE
IS 74 YEARS OLD.

Throw some black hair dye on him and he's 35.

FTW????

FELLOW GEEKS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU. Carl Sagan & Steve Hawking song.

SWEEEET.

RE-VIRGIN-ATOR KIT!!!!

Sluts REJOICE!

"No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction."

Purchase Here:
http://www.gigimo.com/main/product/Artificial,Virginity,Hymen,2299.php?prod=2299

FINALLY! A product that exposes BABIES for the PARASITES that they are!

Vampire Teeth Pacifier.

A realistic and practical necessity.

GOT $25K YOU FEEL LIKE WASTING? ON... CUPCAKE CARS?

YES.

CUPCAKE CARS. OK.
ONLY 25G'S.
BUY ONE.
I dare you.

Available at
http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/sitelets/christmasbook/fantasy.jhtml?cid=CBF10_O4428&icid=NMCDpage48&r=cat24050744&rdesc=The%20Christmas%20Book&rparams=xpage%3D48

"Put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the ‘hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What’s it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood…and mad genius. Launched at Burning ManSM as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors.

Call 1.877.9NM.GIFT for details.
Item
Customized Cupcake Car
Price $25,000.00
CBF10_NMO4428"

THIS IS AWESOME. It pretty much sums up everything.

I'm pretty sure most of you will find this as hilarious and
relevant as I did.

Thank you, Chris Mulvihill!

Sickened by the sweet, wholesome crafts on ETSY? WELL, TRY REGRETSY!

http://www.regretsy.com/

On regretsy.com,
you can find the Masturbating Dinosaur you always wanted...
or even the abortion in a tin!
http://www.regretsy.com/

FETUS IN A TIN!

POKEMON MAXI PAD!

RUBBER CAST OF YOUR VULVA!

TAMPON HOLDER KEYCHAIN!

CHILD BIRTH DOLL!

FISH IN A SQUIRREL!

DOG FOOT NECKLACE!

MASTURBATING T-REX!