Monday, June 29, 2009

HUMANS: FEAR IT.


CARNIVOROUS ROBOTS.
CARNIVOROUS ROBOTS???!!!!
YES.
"UK-based designers James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau believe that, if robots are ever to be welcomed into people's homes, they'll need to fit in with the rest of the furniture, and earn their keep. Their prototypes trap and digest pests like flies and mice to gain energy"

It's in bad taste, even for me...


But still, I am laughing.

This is so wrong. I'm going to hell. We all are.

Anyhow, I'm terrified of chimps.


... and I think this woman is even more twisted. (and hilarious)
I think it's Florence from the Jeffersons.

JEWS: Don't let the Rabbi give your baby herpes!


I'm sure many of you know what a Bris is, but how many of you know of the ritual of Metzitzah B'Peh?
Metzitzah B'Peh is the ORAL SUCTION OF THE BLOOD FROM THE INFANT'S CIRCUMCISION WOUND.
Yes, that's what I said."ORAL SUCTION".
Problem: The Rabbis have been giving the babies herpes.
http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/std/std-bris.shtml
Protect your babies!
Don't let the rabbi give them a happy ending!

JON LAJOIE DOES IT AGAIN!


hahahah

Just when I thought E=MCvagina was my fave Jon LaJoie morsel...
He blesses us with this TROOF!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

ZACH GALIFIANAKIS: No, really. I love you.


It's ok Z.
Shake it.



...watch till the end.
vomit if you wanna.

HOORAY FOR PEANUT BUTTER ON NOSES!


Bobby Hacker and Travis Jones make Lasag-na.


dead-grandma-lasagna.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

BETTER INVENT SOME STRONGER FENCES!


23 year old Xiong, who can chew through walnut shells, finally put that skill o' his to good use.
Able to chew through metal bars...
Xiong has been chewing through steel caged windows to rob places.

Says the toothy home invader
"I only failed once in the past two years. Once I bit on a 2cm thick steel grid, and the first bite nearly dislocated my jaw," he said.

"I never take other tools with me when breaking in. That's why I never got stopped by patrolling officers at night."

OH MY GOD. PLEASE DO THIS TO MY MAC.


HOLY SPACESHIP!

PRISONERS DO THRILLER... While M.J gets outta jail free.


More from the land of Awkward Family Photos...




awkwardfamilyphotos.com

I will NOT give you beer. I WILL give you pants.


Do you really think you're going to get hired?

Why would there not be a LAW against these things procreating?

Uh-
I wouldn't even buy crack from these two.
Nice breast hickey, mommy.

This is what it looks like when your brain starts to remember...


Pretty O-SOME!
For the first time ever, scientists have captured images of a memory being formed!

http://www.livescience.com/health/090626-memory-image.html
"The image shows that proteins are created at connections between brain cells when a long-term memory is formed. Neuroscientists had suspected as much, but hadn't been able to see it happening until now.

The experiment also revealed some surprising aspects of memory formation, which remains a somewhat mysterious process.

Kelsey Martin, a biochemist at the University of California, Los Angeles, and colleagues investigated memory formation in neurons from the sea slug Aplysia californica, a good model for brain cells in other organisms, including humans.

The researchers exposed the neurons to the chemical serotonin, which has been shown to stimulate memory formation (this discovery won Eric Kandel and collaborators the Nobel Prize in 2000). But in a new twist, the scientists devised a way to determine whether any new proteins were created when the memory was made.

The researchers used a fluorescent protein that can change from green to red when exposed to ultraviolet light. They flashed the cells with light, so that any proteins that already existed turned red. But when the scientists induced the cells to form memories, they saw new green proteins appear under the microscope.

"One distinction between short-term and long-term memory is this requirement for making new proteins," said co-investigator Wayne Sossin, a neuroscientist at McGill University in Montreal. "To make it last you do need protein synthesis."

While the details aren't clear, scientists suspect that the new proteins help strengthen synapses, which are the connections between neurons.

"Most neuroscientists believe that memories occur when you change the strength of synaptic connections," Sossin told LiveScience. "In terms of what actually happens when you make a memory, there are a number of different models for how that increase happens."

One of the surprising revelations of the new study is that more regions of RNA, a protein-building instruction manual similar to DNA, are required to form the new proteins than previously thought.

The researchers also saw that both sides of the synapse (called the pre- and post- sides) are involved in forming the memory, rather than just one, as some experts thought."


I hope they can get me some kind of snapshot of me remembering where I put my keys, or why I stood up to go to the kitchen.

THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA... AND PIZZA ROLLS.

Sweet Jeebus.
The sounds... oh the sounds.

Friday, June 26, 2009

SOCCER: a good time for ice cream on your face.


hahahah

I was watching this game and got up to take a call...
The voice at the other end was like "Did you just see the kid with the ice cream?!?!?!"
I miss all the good stuff!

Yay! Other people have scary families!

(CLICK ON PICS FOR EXPANDED VIEW)

I'll take the drugs.
The side effects don't last as long.


BACON!



getting a Leg up

HOLY Mentally impaired stalker who writes awful poetry and sports a molesto-stache...


Poor Alyssa Milano.
I hope she sues this guy.

Should have been sterilized.

JAPANESE SCIENTIST'S ROBOT TWIN!


Hiroshi Ishiguro made himself a ROBOT TWIN.
He has named it Geminoid HI-1.
IT SHARES ALL OF THE SAME PERSONAL IDIOSYNCRASIES AS ITS SCIENTIST TWIN!
Now, That's just AWESOME.
THAT'S what THAT is.

OH MY LORD. Burger King...

It even used the word "Blow".
Go subtlety!

FOR THOSE LONG DRIVES: WHO DOESN'T WANT PIZZA!?


I happen to know, that sometimes people who take very long drives
get the hankering for delicious pizza.
Now, they can have it.
The Porta-Pizza
is a 12 volt pizza oven that plugs into your dashboard.
It will only set you back $36 and it even has a convenient, built-in handle.

I think I'm gonna get me one made out of Michael and Farrah.


Made of dad people's hair, cremated ash and Chinese bone china,
Anna Schwamborn's "Mourning Objects"
http://www.dezeen.com/2009/06/23/mourning-objects-by-anna-schwamborn/
Are "wearable body pieces including human material"...
You know, to keep you close to your dead ones and to really creep out and totally disgust just about everybody else.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Frank is AWESOME.

He captured it ALL.

holy crap. sorry. whoa. MICHAEL JACKSON. DEAD.


OH MY GOD.

FIRST FARRAH... NOW MICHAEL JACKSON.

MICHAEL JACKSON
August 29, 1958 JUNE 25, 2009.

From Thriller to Shocker.

He'll be walkin' on the moon, tonight.


Now I'm POSITIVE that there is no God.


Again... FTW?

THIS JUST IN: MICHAEL JACKSON... CARDIAC ARREST??!!


Jun 25th 2009 4:30PM
MICHAEL JACKSON TAKEN TO L.A HOSPITAL IN CARDIAC ARREST AND IT "LOOKS BAD".




FARRAH AND JACKO ON THE SAME DAY?!!?!?!?!?!


NO GOD.

UPSIDE DOWN CELEBRITIES. WHY NOT?

http://www.freakingnews.com/Celebrities-Upside-Down-Pictures--2433.asp

F.T.W



AM I REALLY HIGH OR IS THAT A WALLABY AND IS IT ALSO REALLY HIGH?


Australian wallabies know what's up.
They have reportedly been eating the poppies, getting all hopped up
and then hopping about, making crop circles.
That's right.
Attorney general in Tasmania, Larry Giddings says:
" We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles. Then they crash "

STOP THE HORNS! STOP STOP STOP!


Holy crap.
It's like busting up a hornets nest. What's with the horns? WHY?
WHY?

JILL MUNROE, YOU'RE CHARLIE'S ANGEL NOW...



So long, inspiration for feathered hair everywhere.
You are gone, but shall never be forgotten.


Farrah Fawcett: 1947 - 2009‎
I've got no jokes about this, today.
Her hair, alone, was legendary... not to mention those legs.

The bed will burn for you...

LONG LIVE HOLLY-
INSTANT FUTURE MAKE-OVERS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.